Little graces

So, my boss was fired on Monday.  Cue anxiety and butterflies in my tummy.  We both expected it – it seemed to have been in the works since January, but I have never thought that there is a way to prepare yourself fully for major upheaval.

Last night, I came home to this sky:

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It reminded me of what my grandmother called ‘little graces’ – those things that see you through, soothe the jagged edges, even though you may not notice them at the time.  This week, they have saved me.

  • Focusing on my breath…deep cleansing ones to calm my nerves, helping me hold my tongue, and reminding me that everything is going to be ok.
  • Unconditional love from my dogs.  Focusing on their sweet, ‘in the moment’ way of life helped me leave my stress at the door.
  • The reactions of my friends and coworkers.  The most common reaction was, “Wtf, are they crazy?” which made me laugh – exactly what I needed.
  • Playing ‘where would you live?” with Edward.  If you could live anywhere, where would it be?  We took turns picking places and finding properties.  Apparently I really need to live near water.
  • Mother Nature.  Leave it to the big wide world to put things back into perspective – we’ve had both big storms and quietly gorgeous sunny days.  I’ve done a lot of looking up and really seeing this week.

So he’s gone – and went on vacation, good for him – and here we are.  Endless gratitude to him for 6 years of leadership and laughter and to life for leading me to my little graces.

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First day of summer…

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Summer solstice and I’d love to see the ocean again.  Is it just me or does the vastness of the ocean make your worries seem pretty small in comparison?

Wishful beach vacations aside, the solstice has been lovely.  I spent most of the day with my nieces, feeding their book habit, and getting them birthday cupcakes.  The last few weeks at work have been full of stress and drama, so a carefree morning with the girls really bolstered my spirits.

I’ve been with my current employer for 19 years (I started there when I was 20!), and the level of toxicity is approaching the worst I’ve ever seen.  I was able to sort of put my head down and press through the first time around, but I’m not sure I can do that this time…I’m not even sure that’s what I want anymore.  I’ve spent the last week thinking about what I want my life to look like…professionally, creatively, personally, intellectually, emotionally.  This week I have resolved to do some mind mapping for each of these areas in my journal to flesh things out and to start purging my belongings…books, clothes, ‘stuff’ – I’m feeling the need to streamline and jettison excess baggage.  Minimalism sounds so appealing right now.

So another season and another journey begins.  I wonder where this one will take me. 

Happy solstice everyone!