40!

01540 years ago today at 2:28am, my mother was super happy to NOT be pregnant anymore…I was 26 days late after all.  As the story goes, it was July 18th, over 100 degrees, my father was at work and my uncle, who was supposedly ‘on baby duty,’ was sleeping off one too many beers on the couch when my mother went into labor with me.  Pissed off that no one coherent was around, she decided to drive herself to the hospital in her little VW bug.  Apparently she could barely reach the pedals because her belly was so big.

Anyway, 19 hours later, officially July 19th, I was born and judging from the picture from the hospital above, I had both my bitchbrow and side-eye perfected from day one.

I’m not sure I can sum up 40 years in one blog post or a list of ’40 things I’ve learned by 40’…how does one sum up their life in that way?  A cacophony of words come to mind – painful, desperate, joyous, wild, free – and none could encapsulate it.  But I’m thrilled that I get more, even if only 60 more, even if only a few hours – I’ll take it and be grateful.

What are you grateful for today?

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Farewell 2014…

The last rays of 2014…

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and an excerpt from my journal this morning:

“…so here is my reminder to myself:  Do the best you can with what you have.  Think simple.  Think natural.  Love enough to let go when it’s time.  Respect people and respect the work, but above all, respect yourself and your boundaries.  Remember to breathe, remember to take walks and lots of pictures, and remember the chocolate.”

I think that’s pretty good for a plan for 2015, no?  Happy New Year’s Eve everyone.

 

2:48

The train brays softly in early morning; it’s whistle muted by the driving rain on the rooftops.  It it is running 3 minutes late today, but I wonder if I’m the only one who will ever know.  The dogs have surrendered once again to sleep, their enthusiasm for the 2am walk dashed by wet paws and swelling puddles.  The Christmas tree glows so beautifully this time of day, it makes my little spot in this world feel all the warmer, somehow more like home.

The whistle is sounding again…still 3 minutes late.  Pouring rain, snores and snuffs are my soundtrack.

What’s yours?

Days like these…

Sometimes, I’m at a loss.

Open document, empty of words.  Cursor taunting me with it’s slow blink…blink…blink.

Open journal, the pages rich under my fingertips.  The book half-full of thoughts, hopes, nightmares, the day to day normalcy of life…but today nothing.

Where does one begin on days like those?  Life swirls around you and yet feels too big, too colorful, too emotional, too something to filter onto the page.  Or maybe chaos reigns and the orderliness of letters, words, sentences, paragraphs feels like the most monumental task ever attempted in the history of the world.  Do you ever feel like this, or is it just me?

On days like today, I like bullet points…no muss, no fuss.  Sometimes simple is the best way to go.

Random occurrences, 7/29/2014

  • Dreamed last night that I built a small house near a lake.  It had a fabulous bathroom with a skylight in it.
  • Received 3 e-mails at work with the big red ‘high importance’ exclamation point today, none of which required it.
  • Walked the dog trail 6 times with no drama, but much beagle sniffing of everything.
  • Heard “I don’t want to talk to voicemail, I want a real person” seven times today.
  • Number of wasps killed today: 1

XO,

Kate